Woody Loves October
It's October 31st.....the last day of the month.
I would have to say that October is easily one of my 12 favorite months of the year. Why? Well, there are actually quite a few reasons...here they are:
First of all, it's fall. The leaves are turning, the colors are soooo beautiful. Ugh, it's like the earth tones in the Pottery Barn catalog exploded all over the trees! Just gorgeous!!!
Also, the weather starts to cool down just a bit. It goes from swelteringly hot temperatures that make you want to put crushed ice in your underpants, to moderately hot temperatures that make you want to sit bare assed in a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Not that I've ever done that before....moving on.
October is also the month of Octoberfest!! A whole month long festival dedicated to beer, sausage, polka music and leder-hosen. And who doesn't love leder-hosen?
And lastly, October is the month that is home to Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, Devil's Night and Dress-Like-a-Whore Night.
Seriously, when did halloween celebrations become fodder for boobs and breast-a-sesses? (not that I'm complaining)
When I was young, I had costumes with the plastic mask that had that cheap rubber band and the plastic suit without any ventilation that stuck to you after a while because you sweated so much in it; and by the end of the night, you were carrying the mask because the rubber band broke 17 times and you just didn't care anymore....as long as you got candy! It was about the candy....that sweet, sweet candy.
Nowadays, no one cares about the candy. For guys, its mostly all about having a funny costume. For girls, its all about picking a profession, and then dressing as the "hooker" version of said profession.
Its the one day of the year women can dress like complete and total tramps and its accepted.
"Why be a nurse when I can be a slutty nurse?"
"Why be a pirate when I can be a slutty pirate?"
"Why be a tax accountant when I can be a slutty tax accountant?"
Well, you know what, gilrs? I think I'm doing that next year! No more silly costumes for me! Next year, you're all getting a little eye-candy courtesy of the Wonder Wood! Instead of being a pumpkin....I'm gonna be a SLUTTY pumpkin.....with my ass cheeks hanging out....and maybe the tip of my wang....I don't know...I don't know if I'll have enough time. But whatever it takes to make it sexy!!!
In the mean time, Happy Halloween y'all!
Love,
Woody
It's October 31st.....the last day of the month.
I would have to say that October is easily one of my 12 favorite months of the year. Why? Well, there are actually quite a few reasons...here they are:
First of all, it's fall. The leaves are turning, the colors are soooo beautiful. Ugh, it's like the earth tones in the Pottery Barn catalog exploded all over the trees! Just gorgeous!!!
Also, the weather starts to cool down just a bit. It goes from swelteringly hot temperatures that make you want to put crushed ice in your underpants, to moderately hot temperatures that make you want to sit bare assed in a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Not that I've ever done that before....moving on.
October is also the month of Octoberfest!! A whole month long festival dedicated to beer, sausage, polka music and leder-hosen. And who doesn't love leder-hosen?
And lastly, October is the month that is home to Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, Devil's Night and Dress-Like-a-Whore Night.
Seriously, when did halloween celebrations become fodder for boobs and breast-a-sesses? (not that I'm complaining)
When I was young, I had costumes with the plastic mask that had that cheap rubber band and the plastic suit without any ventilation that stuck to you after a while because you sweated so much in it; and by the end of the night, you were carrying the mask because the rubber band broke 17 times and you just didn't care anymore....as long as you got candy! It was about the candy....that sweet, sweet candy.
Nowadays, no one cares about the candy. For guys, its mostly all about having a funny costume. For girls, its all about picking a profession, and then dressing as the "hooker" version of said profession.
Its the one day of the year women can dress like complete and total tramps and its accepted.
"Why be a nurse when I can be a slutty nurse?"
"Why be a pirate when I can be a slutty pirate?"
"Why be a tax accountant when I can be a slutty tax accountant?"
Well, you know what, gilrs? I think I'm doing that next year! No more silly costumes for me! Next year, you're all getting a little eye-candy courtesy of the Wonder Wood! Instead of being a pumpkin....I'm gonna be a SLUTTY pumpkin.....with my ass cheeks hanging out....and maybe the tip of my wang....I don't know...I don't know if I'll have enough time. But whatever it takes to make it sexy!!!
In the mean time, Happy Halloween y'all!
Love,
Woody
posted by Woody at
10:54 AM
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