"Who's up for a few shots of Savior-meister?"

Happy birthday, Jesus!



To celebrate the birthday of the new born, 6 lb. 8 oz. tiny, baby Jesus, laying there in the manger, with his frankincense & myrhh, I'd like to discuss a few holiday traditions.

Mistletoe - A lot of people may not know this, but its actually mildly poisonous. It won't kill you, but it will give you acute gastrointestinal issues and leave you on the toilet with severe stomach pain & diarrhea. Yay, now lets all stand underneath it and make out!!

Christmas Music - For some reason, they start playing that shit in what seems like October. Aside from singing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg...", I'm not a huge fan of Christmas music. I felt bad for Ruldoph not being allowed in Reindeer Games. I always thought that movie coulda used a little more Rudolph and a little less Affleck.

Egg Nog - Guess what....its elf jizz. You're welcome.

Christmas Cookies - Nothing wrong with that.

Santa Claus - A.K.A. Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Sinterklaaus. Happy holidays, ladies...he's comin' down your chimney tonight.

For those of you who love to decorate the house for Christmas, I'll let the great Jim Gaffigan explain how crazy you really are.