Welcome to Music 101, part 2, the second installment of the Music 101 Blog. I received some very positive feedback from the previous entry, as well as some suggestions that this is something that could be elaborated and built upon. So after doing Foreigner’s hit “Hot Blooded” I decided to take a deeper look at some more of their lyrics. After checking out a few more songs, its apparent that they were wordsmiths years ahead of their time. Here’s the unflinching awesomeness that is “Urgent” by Foreigner, directly translated:
-It’s a classic tale of boy meets girl, passion flares, boy loses girl, boy tries to win girl back. Here’s the first verse:
You're not shy, you get around - ‘Sup, slut.
You wanna fly, don't want your feet on the ground - I got some blow, you interested?
You stay up, you won't come down - I got it from Mookie down on 22nd , its good shit.
You wanna live, you wanna move to the sound - I parked my camper out back, lets go.
-Wow, that was sensual and romantic. I can’t wait to see where this tryst will end up? Lets move on.
Got fire in your veins - So, uh, you don’t have anything, do you?
Burnin' hot but you don't feel the pain - You sure you don’t have anything?
Your desire is insane - Damn, you’re kinky!
You can't stop until you do it again - I’m gonna need 10 minutes rest and a sandwich if we’re gonna do this again.
-Ah, the eroticism is palpable!! You can just feel the emotion these two feel for each other and you can tell they’ll be together forever.
But sometimes I wonder as I look in your eyes - Hmm, I wonder….
Maybe you're thinking of some other guy - Are you still hooking-up with Ted the bartender?
But I know, yes I know, how to treat you right - I‘m not worried, he’s got a tiny tinkle-stick
That's why you call me in the middle of the night - That’s why you’re sweatin’ my sweet-meat.
-Well, he is certainly making a case for her to choose his love. Lets see if the chorus delivers the kind of sticky-sweet romance we’ve come to know and love from Foreigner.
You say it's urgent - You’re crotch region is sailin’ for a whalin’.
So urgent, so oh oh urgent - Your ass is cruising’ for a bruising’.
Just wait and see - Hang on a sec, I need a minute here, I swear this never happens.
How urgent my love can be - Ahhh, here we go, ok, hurry up before this thing goes all “wind-sock” on us again.
It's urgent - Seriously, the drugs are making me flaccid, hurry up.
-Wow. Well, here it seems our star-crossed lovers are at a crossroads. Will their affection prove to be long lasting? Let’s move on to the next few verses and find out.
You play tricks on my mind - Did you fake that last one?
You're everywhere but you're so hard to find - I’m pretty sure you’re still banging Ted.
You're not warm or sentimental - Now you’re not even trying to fake it.
You're so extreme, you can be so temperamental - Seriously, pre-mature ejaculation happens to a lot a dudes, its pretty common.
But I'm not looking for a love that will last - Its cool, because I actually knocked up Charlene, the late night waitress from the Waffle House.
I know what I need and I need it fast - But she‘s working, so if I could just get a quick BJ?
Yeah, there's one thing in common that we both share - Also, I’m pretty sure I gave you the clap.
That's a need for each other anytime, anywhere - Ok, I lied, Charlene kicked me out, and now I need a place to crash.
-Ok, its apparent that our lovers are destined to fall apart. But our singer is not gonna give up that easily. At the end of the song he makes one last ditch effort to win her affections.
It gets so urgent - So, whats up? We gonna do this thing?
So urgent - C’mon, this thing is ready!You know it's urgent - You moist yet?
I wanna tell you it's the same for me - Because I am throbbingly ready.
So oh oh urgent - We gotta hurry, remember the premature ejaculation?
Just you wait and see - I’m a total 2-pump chump, so let’s hurry it up
How urgent our love can be - Alright, look, I’m high on paint-thinner, so….
It's urgent - Can I mabe just get a HJ or something?
Urgent, Urgent, Urgent, Urgent, - C’mon, stop being such a bitch!
Emergency - Wait, don’t call the cops, I love you baby!
Urgent, Urgent, Urgent, Urgent, - Maybe you could just flash your boobs while I rub one out?
Emergency! - Ok, I’ll get off your lawn.

Well, I think we all learned a lesson from that song. In the end, we learned that its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Also, stay away from a guy who offers blow as his “ice breaker.”