Happy New Year, everybody!!! Its the year of our Lord two thousand and nine. The deuce-ten-minus-one! Two-thousand and three quarters of a dozen. Hmmm, there really doesn't seem to be a cool way to say 2009. Oh well, who gives a shit. I was listening to the radio this morning, 107.5 on my radio dial, Frank FM, they play only classic hits, you know. And they played a song, a good song. No, wait, a great song, that a lot of people probably overlook and don't fully appreciate it for its total sleazy and creepy awesomeness. So, without further ado, I will break down the lyrics and try to fully educate you on the poetic lyricism of the band Foreigner, and their masterpiece "Hot Blooded."


First of all, they kick the song off by rocking straight into the chorus. No time for a verse, they want you, the listener, to know what they are about right off the bat:

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see Check what and see? Well, I think you & I both know
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance? "Do you do more than dance?" This is our first inclination, foreshadowing if you will, that there may be some subtle, sensual undertones to come as the song unfolds. Lets move on.
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Here is the first line of the first verse, and the singer is talking to someone, a lady he is interested in perhaps? He's being a gentleman right now and trying to make a move. Let's see how our lead singer does.
You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line Here our singer has hinted he may have a not so secret agenda, and is gently expressing his interest in his potential lady companion.
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show Ahh, here it is, he's asking her out. Thats innocent enough.

Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew Hmmm, well, thats not innocent at all. But at least he is referring to it as "lovin'" and it seems his intentions may be genuine.

Lets take a look at the second verse.
If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night See, he's saying, "Hey, there, anonymous potential sexual partner, I'm just inquiring that if the ass-punishing power-hump I'm about to deliver to you is up to your standards, maybe you'd feel good about having a sleepover?" Why, thats the only gentlemanly thing to do here. Anytime a true gentleman is going to engage in a vicious poon-pounding extravaganza, its polite to infer that your partners company is welcome until the next morning.
Let's see how he positions the rest of his proposition.
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me Well, if that wasn't textbook etiquette, I don't know what was. He offered a key, asked for a sign, or "consent", which I cannot stress enough how important that is, and then he finished up with positive feedback. Excellent. So far, our singer is an obvious gentleman, and I would assume that he will keep this encounter classy yet erotic. Lets see....
Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call your bluff? Uh-oh. If you have to inquire if your potential love-making partner is "old enough" then the answer is probably a resounding "NO." And the part about "calling her bluff" as if to say, "Hey, listen, you may actually be 12, but if you used a fake ID to get in here tonight, then I'm gonna assume that you are 21 in the eyes of the law. And that means I'm driving my 18-wheeler packed to the brim with love-juice through the rectal toll-booth and down the hershey highway and I'm not stoppin' 'til I unload my steamy cargo all over." That kind of talk could be considered a slight stumble down the path of improper, almost creepy behavior. Lets see if our singer can recover and salvage his night of passion.
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight? Ahh, now thats more like it. By asking if his timing is right and if she saved her love for him, he is again asking for consent. And as I stressed before, this is very important, especially considering that when all is said and done, his partner may turn out to be a junior high school cheerleader.

Here we revisit the chorus, with a slight twist. See if you pick up on the subtle hint he drops in the 2nd line.
Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me Any mention of a fever burning inside of me may not refer to his increased heart rate due to endorphins and adrenaline. He may actually have a venereal disease.
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot

Here we look at the next verse.
Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who
Now this is troubling. It tells us that we have a lady who is with a boyfriend, or even worse, quite possibly a parental guardian. In which case a definite red flag for any potential hook-up.

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance? At this point, I think we all know what our singer is referring to. He's saying "Listen, you're dancing and thats nice and all. But what I'm really interested in is gettin' at your pink Thanksgiving love turkey and dumping a boat-load of my man-gravy all over it. Whatta ya say?" I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded (Translation: I'm very excited and 3/4 erect at this point. Also, I'm a little drunk and I've been doing blow all night.)


Here we come to the end of the song, where he repeatedly lets the object of his desire know he is excited, aroused, and ready to engage in the physical act of love.
Lets break this down, line by line, with the lyrics followed by what the singer is really saying:

Hot blooded, every night - I'm rock hard, I was rock hard yesterday, I'll be rock hard tomorrow. Get into it.
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight - I got something stiff in my pants. Also, you don't look as used up as some of these tramps...possibly because you're so young you could have a show on the Disney Channel. Either way, I'm used to throwing a hot-dog down a hallway & with you I think I got a shot of at least touchin' the sides of your freak hole with my man hog.
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild - I'm throbbing. And this coke is really starting to kick in.
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child - Seriously. Check out my bulge. At this point I've come to grips with the fact that I'll be breaking several state & federal laws. And yes, I just called you "child", I was hoping I could take advantage of the fact you're daddy maybe didn't love you enough.
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high - Jeez, my junk is rip-roaring right now. Did I mention that this coke is really starting to kick in?
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy - I need a permit for this thing in my jeans, its so big right now. Uh-oh, "a little bit shy"...I think I'm creeping you out. I better take it down a notch.
Hot blooded, you're making me sing - Hey, I'm happy! You make me sing!
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing - Aw, screw it, I got a cunt-eating tiger in my pants! I'm gonna punch your love-cave until my heart explodes in my chest! I am not kidding, you could slam this thing in a car door right now and it wouldn't slow me down a bit! My cock is a coke-fueled rocket ship and I'm conquering Uranus! Prepare to be thunder-humped!!!!

So there we have it. An in depth look at one of the most sensual rock ballads to grace the world of music. Its amazing that a person could be so moved by the beauty and magic of love...that a mere mortal could put pen to paper and write an ode so sweet, so wonderful, even Shakespeare would be jealous.

Ahhhh.....isn't love grand?