It's like Disneyland for Rednecks
My lady and I like to think we're a classy breed of human. We stay clear of Budweiser tank tops & rarely take part in inter-species romance.
But every year, when that train wreck of family entertainment known as the South Florida Fair comes to town, we set aside our manners, along with that part of your brain that tells you not eat that, and get a little crazy.
This year's menu consisted of fried Oreos, fried mac n cheese balls, a corn dog, a gyro, cotton candy, and we washed it all down with beer.
The food was only the 2nd best part, as my favorite thing to do at the fair is watch the various rednecks and wonders of humankind interact. I find it funny that some people pay to go to the freak show inside the fair when going to the fair is basically the same thing. Sure, there's no two headed horse or World's Tallest Man, but I guarantee you'll see no less than 15 bearded ladies just walkin' around with their kids.
Also, why is it that the 400 lb. couple with the his-and-hers mullets have so many kids? You need a license to go fishing or drive a car, but any idiot with functioning naughty parts can have kids. Shouldn't there at least be a limit on how many children you can have? If you're life's dream is to see Larry The Cable Guy drive a NASCAR race with a never ending supply of pork rinds & Budweiser while getting a hummer from your sister, then you should not be allowed to procreate. We're being overrun by inbred, slack-jawed, overweight hillbilly folk. The world is truly headed for a zombie apocalypse. Except instead of the living dead, it'll be millions of brainless rednecks.
Oh well, at least I'll have my fried delicacies.
My lady and I like to think we're a classy breed of human. We stay clear of Budweiser tank tops & rarely take part in inter-species romance.
But every year, when that train wreck of family entertainment known as the South Florida Fair comes to town, we set aside our manners, along with that part of your brain that tells you not eat that, and get a little crazy.
This year's menu consisted of fried Oreos, fried mac n cheese balls, a corn dog, a gyro, cotton candy, and we washed it all down with beer.
The food was only the 2nd best part, as my favorite thing to do at the fair is watch the various rednecks and wonders of humankind interact. I find it funny that some people pay to go to the freak show inside the fair when going to the fair is basically the same thing. Sure, there's no two headed horse or World's Tallest Man, but I guarantee you'll see no less than 15 bearded ladies just walkin' around with their kids.
Also, why is it that the 400 lb. couple with the his-and-hers mullets have so many kids? You need a license to go fishing or drive a car, but any idiot with functioning naughty parts can have kids. Shouldn't there at least be a limit on how many children you can have? If you're life's dream is to see Larry The Cable Guy drive a NASCAR race with a never ending supply of pork rinds & Budweiser while getting a hummer from your sister, then you should not be allowed to procreate. We're being overrun by inbred, slack-jawed, overweight hillbilly folk. The world is truly headed for a zombie apocalypse. Except instead of the living dead, it'll be millions of brainless rednecks.
Oh well, at least I'll have my fried delicacies.
posted by Woody at
11:05 AM
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