Texting + Walking = Boobies?

By now, you've all heard about the lady who was walking in the mall while texting on her smart phone and fell into a fountain. What a dumb bitch, right?

Well, I will reserve judgement ever so slightly. Today, I decided to get in 30 minutes of cardio at the gym while on my lunch break. I raced to the gym (important sidenote: the first time I'd ever been to this particular location), got changed, hit the treadmill, sweated my mildly chubby caboose off, then headed for the showers so I didn't smell like a foot when I got back to my desk. I decided to multi-task so I was texting a friend about this weekends plans while walking. I stepped into the locker room, was about 5 feet inside the door when I looked up and saw a (fully dressed...thankfully) woman walking towards me. "What the hell? What's this lady doing in the men's locker room?", I asked myself. Then it hit me....oh shit, I'm in the wrong locker room. I quickly turned, redfaced as hell, and hightailed it out of there. Out in the hall, there was a janitor...laughing at me. The bastard could've warned me. Then again, I wouldn't have. That shit would be funny as hell if it happened to somebody else. Fortunately (unfortunately?) there were no naked women to cause a fuss about me seeing their boobs or beavers, so in the end, all was fine.

So before you judge that lady for falling into a fountain, make sure you don't walk into the wrong locker room. Because that would make you a jackass.

(Editor's note: I am suing the gym for insufficient door labeling, suing the janitor for not warning me about my error and suing my friend for distracting me...I may also sue my cell phone provider. I haven't decided yet.)