Original post date - Thursday June 23, 2005
A bizarre Exchange Indeed

This is an example of why alcohol is bad for your brain. Exhibit A is an exchange that took place between myself and Chuck Deuce. We are two strange birds.
Chuck Deuce's Post:
hey everyone out there in myspace land!its yer ol' friend here, chuck deuce.chucky d, the d-meister, the deuce machine.the d-bomb, the quintesential deucemuffin,deucy, deucy, deuce-a-rino...so anyways,i jus got home from a long dayat my job in strong island...what do i do for work?why, i slay dragons of course.so today me and my boy, dominic,was out beatin' the frickin snot outta this dragon, and before you knows ithe shoots this fire out his ass, and it litthe stick of dynamite dom happened to have in his back pocket.and Kablammy! dom lights up like the torch onthe statue of liberty... ive been pickin out doms brainsout my n.y. islanders jersey all frickin day.. so, afterthe sad loss of my best friend, dom,i ate two-tree pies and a few coney island hot dogsto ease the pain, but it didnt work...so now im sipping margaritas, watching wrestlingin my underpants and feelin' fine.anyone else out there have a rough day?hit me up.
My retort:
You think you've had a bad day?!? First, I go to work, however, on the way, I become confused by all the construction and instead of heading east, I go west and end up in redwood country, out in the wilderness of Oregon, which is beautiful by the way. Now, it's a long trip and I have been dying to urinate, so I get out of the car and make my way off the road to relive myself, when who do I bump into but Big Foot. He's absolutely irate, not only because I'm defiling his home with pee-pee, but because I'm a bit bigger in the bulge department. So he slaps me accross the face with a leather glove and requests a duel. I accept as this slap is an insult to my honor and I zip up and we start to grapple. We lock up, not unlike Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, except that there is less spandex, and Andre the Giant was harrier than Big Foot. Well, let me tell you that after I gave him a rap on the old Jack Johnson, Mr. Foot was quite agitated. He put me into a full nelson followed by a headlock and proceeded to give noogie followed by wet willie followed by noogie. Thank goodness for me Yettis don't have cable or watch any violent progamming, as he was quite unaware as to how to administer a pummeling. Somehow I wiggled out of the headlock and grabbed for his forearm. You see, anyone with that much arm hair would never be able to recover from an indian rug burn, and that's just what I did. While he was smarting and starting to cry, I made my way back to my car and drove back to Florida. It's not that bad of a drive if you don't stop too many times to dilly-dally. It seems I lost my job for not showing up to work on time, so I went to the local tavern to drown my sorrows in a frothy brew. Upon placing my order, the barkeep spit right in my face. Even worse when I asked him why, he maintained that I "just looked like the kind of guy who deserved it" and walked off. I still don't know what that means. Anyway, he delivered my beer nonetheless and I started to drink when, who do I notice sitting next to me but Michael Gross, character actor and the man who played the dad on Family Ties. I won't go into too much detail, but I can honestly say that he is somewhat of a jerk and quite possebly gay. I then returned home to find out that my house had been vandalized and my grandmother fisted by the neighborhood kids as a prank. Boy, oh boy...and I remember when a good toiletpapering was all the pranking I could handle. Times sure have changed.