A Christmas Poem from Woody

T'was the night before Christmas,
And I was at work
"Why?" you may ask?
'Cause my boss is a jerk.
But I'm out at 3:30
When my drink will commence
And I'll drink, and I'll drink
'Til my words make no sense.
'Cause it's the holiday season,
And we're all filled with cheer.
And what better to go with it
Than a full keg of beer!
Yes, let's celebrate Jesus
With a huge raging kegger!
With breaks in between
To consume lots of jager!
Yes, we'll drink and we'll drink
Til we can't feel our feelings,
Then we'll lay on our backs
Watching our ceilings
With our vision a'spinning,
Round and round like a comet
We'll drink lots of water
And try not to vomit.
As we drift off to dreamland,
No longer awake.
Not prepared for the morning,
And that splitting headache.
Then we'll sit with our family
Opening our gifts,
Running to the bathroom,
Cause we've got drinkers shits,
And we'll whine and complain,
In a terrible mood,
Then we'll gain 10 more pounds
From eating shit loads of food.
Then we escape from our family
And go hang with our friends,
Let's head out to the bar
And do it all over again!
So as I start to get tipsy,
And while I can still speak alright,
I'll say Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night!