The Double Down
Today, I tried the new KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich (which will be referred to as the "Double Down" from here on out). Some of you may not know what the Double Down is, so let me enlighten you: It is a sandwich of biblical proportions. It is made up of 2 KFC Boneless Chicken Breasts (grilled or original recipe...I went with original recipe), between which there are 2 slices of Swiss Cheese and 2 pieces of bacon, all held together with a mysterious orange sauce.
You think the ingredients of this cardiac-snack are impressive? Lets go to the stats:
Calories: 540
Grams of Fat: 32
Milligrams of Sodium: 1,380
This sandwich shouldn't be called The Double Down, it should be called The Widow Maker.
But I digress.
I purposefully didn't have breakfast today...I wanted to try it with a fresh palate, my taste buds unencumbered by any recent meals.
I ordered the Double Down via the drive-thru, then took it to a nice, shady spot under a tree in the parking lot. Similar to spending time with a beautiful woman, I wanted to be alone with it to fully enjoy the experience. (in retrospect, that was probably a bad idea, considering I could've had a heart attack after the first 2 bites with no one around to administer CPR).
The Double Down is packaged in it's own Big-Mac Style box, and then inside the box there is yet another piece of packaging...they wrap it in wax-paper that says "Double Down....Caution: Hot". As if the heat of the sandwich is the only thing that is a severe danger to my health right now. "Yeah, hey, the sandwich is hot guys. Oh, and it has enough sodium and fat to strike down a fuckin' circus elephant in its prime, but really, just be careful not to burn yourself."
Also, I like how this sandwich is so serious, it takes 2 different wrappings to handle it, as if to say "I'm not just gonna wreak havoc on your cardiovascular system, but I'm gonna take down some trees and make a hellova mess in a land fill, too! Suck it, Mother Nature."
Anyway, like King Arthur removing the sword from the stone, I remove the sandwich from its wrapping to the sound of a choir of angels and wind blowing through my hair (note: this may have been my iPod and the air conditioner in my truck). I stare the beast down...its a hearty looking sandwich...cheese hanging out, smothered in mysterious orange sauce, bacon, the crispy chicken fried with Colonel's secret blend of 11 herbs & spices. Its impressive & intimidating at the same time. (Kinda like my Johnson....you're welcome)
So many emotions...fear, excitement, angst, hunger. Finally, I take the first bite. It's amazing. Part of me always knew it would be. I imagine it tastes something like a cross between going down on an angel and a girl from western Kentucky.
Just as I expected, it is delicious...every bite.
However, despite all its glory, I don't think I'll ever order another one. I just may get addicted. As it stands now, its been almost 2 hours and my stomach is making sounds usually reserved for a garbage disposal. Its like someone dropped a sick of dynomite down my own personal sewage system, only I have no idea how long the fuse is. I could have a few hours before this thing goes off....or I could only have a few seconds. I feel like MacGruber right now.
For someone who loves salty, fried, bacon-topped, cheesy junk food, this is a dangerous path to walk down. Overall, I give the Double Down 4 out of 5 stars. Its only drawback, in my opinion, is that it can only be done once....making a habit of this is just to deliciously dangerous. Unless you don't mind weighing the same as an Oldsmobile and needing a quadruple bypass by the time you are 35. If thats the case, go to town.
So give the Double Down a try. Just be careful. It may be habit forming.
Today, I tried the new KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich (which will be referred to as the "Double Down" from here on out). Some of you may not know what the Double Down is, so let me enlighten you: It is a sandwich of biblical proportions. It is made up of 2 KFC Boneless Chicken Breasts (grilled or original recipe...I went with original recipe), between which there are 2 slices of Swiss Cheese and 2 pieces of bacon, all held together with a mysterious orange sauce.
You think the ingredients of this cardiac-snack are impressive? Lets go to the stats:
Calories: 540
Grams of Fat: 32
Milligrams of Sodium: 1,380
This sandwich shouldn't be called The Double Down, it should be called The Widow Maker.
But I digress.
I purposefully didn't have breakfast today...I wanted to try it with a fresh palate, my taste buds unencumbered by any recent meals.
I ordered the Double Down via the drive-thru, then took it to a nice, shady spot under a tree in the parking lot. Similar to spending time with a beautiful woman, I wanted to be alone with it to fully enjoy the experience. (in retrospect, that was probably a bad idea, considering I could've had a heart attack after the first 2 bites with no one around to administer CPR).
The Double Down is packaged in it's own Big-Mac Style box, and then inside the box there is yet another piece of packaging...they wrap it in wax-paper that says "Double Down....Caution: Hot". As if the heat of the sandwich is the only thing that is a severe danger to my health right now. "Yeah, hey, the sandwich is hot guys. Oh, and it has enough sodium and fat to strike down a fuckin' circus elephant in its prime, but really, just be careful not to burn yourself."
Also, I like how this sandwich is so serious, it takes 2 different wrappings to handle it, as if to say "I'm not just gonna wreak havoc on your cardiovascular system, but I'm gonna take down some trees and make a hellova mess in a land fill, too! Suck it, Mother Nature."
Anyway, like King Arthur removing the sword from the stone, I remove the sandwich from its wrapping to the sound of a choir of angels and wind blowing through my hair (note: this may have been my iPod and the air conditioner in my truck). I stare the beast down...its a hearty looking sandwich...cheese hanging out, smothered in mysterious orange sauce, bacon, the crispy chicken fried with Colonel's secret blend of 11 herbs & spices. Its impressive & intimidating at the same time. (Kinda like my Johnson....you're welcome)
So many emotions...fear, excitement, angst, hunger. Finally, I take the first bite. It's amazing. Part of me always knew it would be. I imagine it tastes something like a cross between going down on an angel and a girl from western Kentucky.
Just as I expected, it is delicious...every bite.
However, despite all its glory, I don't think I'll ever order another one. I just may get addicted. As it stands now, its been almost 2 hours and my stomach is making sounds usually reserved for a garbage disposal. Its like someone dropped a sick of dynomite down my own personal sewage system, only I have no idea how long the fuse is. I could have a few hours before this thing goes off....or I could only have a few seconds. I feel like MacGruber right now.
For someone who loves salty, fried, bacon-topped, cheesy junk food, this is a dangerous path to walk down. Overall, I give the Double Down 4 out of 5 stars. Its only drawback, in my opinion, is that it can only be done once....making a habit of this is just to deliciously dangerous. Unless you don't mind weighing the same as an Oldsmobile and needing a quadruple bypass by the time you are 35. If thats the case, go to town.
So give the Double Down a try. Just be careful. It may be habit forming.
posted by Woody at
3:06 PM
0 Comments
